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Becoming a Place of Refuge
Victoria Boyson
www.boyson.org
I can imagine that if the Lord were ministering physically on earth today, we would most likely find him hanging out at the local tavern - right where He would be
needed the most. He would be there, not preaching or singing, but laughing and fellowshipping with the hurting and lonely.
Bars and clubs are full of tormented and lonesome people, because at a bar they can get something
they can't find in most churches. They find a place where they can let their hair down and feel free to just be who they are. They can lay out their troubles and no one will criticize them or try to fix them; they are at a
place of refuge.
Have you ever seen a bar scene in a movie or on televison? In it you would see the local bartender, who doesn't have a lot to say, but is a really great listener. His sympathetic ear has probably saved
many a marriage, home or individual. He is just a sympathetic soul who listens and responds in love and acceptance. He doesn't preach or criticize; he doesn't try to fix them or spout out his opinions or objections. He is a
refuge.
Walking Out Jesus Everyday
It is a dream of mine that the body of Christ becomes a place of refuge, not only to the prodical sons in the bars, but also to the minister in the pulpit, the Sunday school
teacher or prophet. They, more than anyone, can get trapped in a cage of isolated perfectionism. They don't dare let a weakness be seen or they will be eaten alive by people wanting to "help" them. They will be
walloped with truth and drowned in opinions, advice and theology that is actually not helpful, but oppressive.
Have you ever talked with a brother or sister in Christ who acts like they have never had a problem, but in
reality, struggles daily with the same things we all battle with? (Most people know what they should do, it's the doing it that is the problem.) We can give all kinds of advice to people, but what will help them the most is seeing us walking out JESUS everyday.
How good we feel when we can give our bit of wisdom to others. But have we really helped them, or simply added salt to their wounds? Have we allowed them a place to let off steam, or have we stopped them with our
"been there, done that" know-it-all attitude?
Remember, the "love" chapter (1 Corinthians 13) says, we can have all knowledge, but without love we are really just a clanging symbol. Compassion
resists the temptation to give solutions, but instead, listens and loves.
Have you ever shared a hurt or wound with someone only to have them patronizingly say, "Well, you just have to love them!" Yes, that is
true. We all need to love those who wound us. But at that moment they needed to be loved and have someone encourage them that they are of value and worth, and most of all, to remind them that God loves them. They weren't looking for advice, they simply needed someone to be a place of refuge for them, where they could receive healing from their wounds.
The Heart of Christ
True Christlikeness is compassion in action, not vomiting theology on anyone who shows a weakness. God is love!!! That should be the basis of our theology. When it is not, it becomes
self-righteous religion, which may seem to some as actual Christianity, but in reality, it is a form of the anti-Christ spirit - a spirit that wants to supplant the reality of Christ with a revolting, loveless substitute.
Christ came to display His likeness to the world to contrast the difference between true faith in God and man-made religion. God is not a set of rules and standards that must be imposed and enforced, but He is simply and
truly love! If we do not have love, then we do not truly possess the heart of Christ.
Let me ask you this: can you show God's love more with a plate of cookies or a gospel tract? Well, how about both? But
first...the cookies. Then, when they are convinced of our love...the Gospel. Amen?
Truth spoken in arrogance and conceit can become a weapon of the enemy sent to cut us. Usually, those "truth" wounds cause
emotional scar tissue that hinders us from receiving the truth when it is rightly offered by someone else. It is wise to deal with the scars of another Christian's botched "fix it" job with buckets of love before we
bring the truth that they need or we may be adding injury to a wound that has not rightly healed. Sit with them and listen and only speak at the right time, not with answers and opinions, but truth spoken in love, baptized in
grace.
Most importantly, compassion gives people time to heal and doesn't get frustrated when we don't see change overnight. Time alone cannot heal all wounds, however, time mixed with God's love and patient understanding will indeed heal every wound.
"Vic's Bar and Grill"
I have been wounded and I have also wounded others, but my heart is to become a place of refuge - a place of safety where others can bare their souls and receive love and
ministry in exchange.
I want to be like an old fashioned bartender who just listens and loves - someone who will wipe up the spills of life with a sympathetic ear and kind smile. Maybe I'll even call my house
"Vic's Bar and Grill," where others can come and drink freely from the wine of God's love and eat of His acceptance and grace.
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