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Great Lovers of God!
Victoria Boyson
www.boyson.org
Jesus is calling His bride to the
altar to cast off the cares of this world in order to enter into our marriage with Him free from the encumbrances of other loves. He wants us to choose between
Him or the world - to let go of the things of this world that keep us in bondage and live as His bride, completely given to Him . When we do this, we will begin to experience our relationship with our Beloved as we should and our love for Him will know no bounds.
He wants His bride to be clearly His...
During a time of prayer with a prayer group at my church I wept uncontrollably. I was overcome by feelings of remorse - remorse for myself and the condition of Christ's
church. I felt the need to fervently repent of my lack of focused devotion to Him and was weeping to such an extent that I could barely catch my breath. I saw plainly how I had compromised in my walk with Him and how the church
is compromising its obedience to Him. We have excepted only to varying degrees His Lordship.
Truly, we have compromised our relationship with Him by loving the approval of man.
During the prayer meeting,
I was surrounded by a group of people wanting so much to explain to them what I was feeling and sensing from the Lord, but it was sometime before I could speak. I then tried to explain to them what I was sensing, but they
seemed to misunderstand what I was saying and rebuked me for being too hard on myself. Some thought it was just youthful zeal, while others thought the enemy was weighing me down with oppressive condemnation. It was, however,
the Presence of God showing me my need of Him and the sin in my life.
All I could do was beg His forgiveness and cry. I realized that no one would understand what I was feeling until the Lord revealed it to them Himself
- that He was calling me to draw closer to Him and, as I drew nearer to Him, I was made more aware of the many ways in which I had failed Him.
I grieved also for the condition of the church. How we are more comfortable
with living out the traditions of men in our churches than living for our God. We are, indeed, better than we used to be, but still so far from where we need to be.
Our Need of More of Him
Though I know God
can pull us to Himself in a moment - He can rescue us from mundane Christianity, cold-love, from a passionless marriage - we first need to want to be rescued. We need to want Him more and to seek Him. We need to see our need of more of Him.
So often I have experience such levels of love and longing for Him, and He has filled me so completely. Yet, I can so easily betray that love by desiring the approval of man more than His presence. I wept bitter tears
that I am capable of so easily betraying my Dearest Love - I clearly saw this sin in myself and in the body of Christ and wept for both.
I, like Peter, feel as though I would rather die than to betray Him (see Matthew
26:33-35), but I know the temptation exists. It is so easy to fall back into our man-pleasing ways and let our passion for Him dwindle because we don't want people to think we are fanatical. By endeavoring to appease man we
have, to a degree, rejected our First Love and become susceptible to feelings of indifference to Him.
Fearing Rejection
I have, at times, been so rejected by other Christians who have accused me wrongly or
questioned my motives, and it has, at those times, caused such torturous fear in me. Fear. Yuck! I hate it with a passion! But should I therefore betray my Dearest Love in the process of trying to preserve myself, because
I fear being misunderstood? It seems that I can too easily forget that it is His love and acceptance for me that will drive out this fear.
I see this in many of the prophetic people I am privileged to know. In a
small measure or great, there is that fear of being misunderstood, because so much of what God requires of us is so easily misunderstood. However, it is that misunderstanding that has driven us deeper into the heart of God and
produced a greater level of love for Him in our lives.
So, do we want to be always understood by everyone, or do we care more about being great lovers of God?
Clinging to the Good in Ourselves
Not until we hate the "good" in us will we be able to love God more. The "good" in us is an enemy of the cross! It is an enemy of the "greatness" that God Himself wants to produce in our lives - becoming more like Jesus - living for Him.
When we cling so strongly to the good, it becomes our attorney and we try to use it to justify ourselves instead of Christ's blood alone. Therefore, the "good" in us becomes our enemy, separating us from our
Lord. Paul said in Philippians 3:8-11 that he counted everything that he did in this world to gain righteousness as counterproductive when he compared it with Christ's sacrifice on the cross.
Popularity and the praise
of man can be such a trap. Once we experience the approval of men, we can so easily want more in order to justify ourselves. Therein lies the dilemma: what will we do to gain their approval? Or, what will we not do to keep their good opinion?
When God calls us to radical praise, will we let respectability have its way and modify our worship so as not to offend those who may not understand or approve? What is more important to us? What will we be focusing on?
Will we keep before us the face of our Beloved and think only of Him and live for Him alone, or will we sacrifice our love for Him on the altar of respectability?
I see those in positions of authority in the church as
being in the greatest danger of succumbing to the enemy of respectability. It is all too easy to allow our positions to hinder our freedom in Christ. However, Christ is looking for leaders, like king David, who will use the
influence of their position to demonstrate radical love and fearless worship (see 2 Samuel 6:14-16).
Indeed, if we want more of Him in our lives, we will find it necessary to choose between Him and the opinions of men, even when it causes other to look down on us or question our motives. If we deny Him before men, He will deny us before God (see Matthew 10:32-33).
If we truly want Him, then the answer is quite clear: love Him, live for Him, worship Him and obey Him as if nothing else in life existed. We must fight to put Him above all the cares of this world, loving Him more than
ourselves.
We must repent of allowing the cares of this world to clutter up our love for our Lord and realize that living for Him is the only thing that matters - the only thing that lasts.
We need to make a choice. Who will we live for...God or ourselves?
If you want to love God more than anything else, may God grant you the courage and passion to love Him unapologetically!
Please pray this with me:
Help us God to hate the "good" in ourselves and rely solely on Your goodness as our righteousness. Help us to be Your great lovers - to give ourselves completely to You! We want to be Yours, Lord. Remove
those things in our lives that have compromised our love for You. Have mercy on us Lord and draw us into Yourself. Hold us close to Your heart until we can hear its beat. We want to be Yours, Lord....ALL YOURS!!!
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